The Game Award 2022 winners told through haiku

Sony /

There are a million places where one can find info on The Game Awards 2022 winners but I promise you, this will be your only chance to see all the winners’ stories told via poetry. So sit back, clear your mind, and let us go on this journey together.

Game of the Year: Elden Ring (FromSoftware/Bandai Namco)

FromSoftware won big
But a weird French stage crasher
Really stole the show

Best Game Direction: Elden Ring (FromSoftware/Bandai Namco)

Elden Ring again
Said George R. R. Martin helped
Where? I’ve no idea

Best Narrative: God of War Ragnarök (Sony Santa Monica/SIE)

Everyone guessed it
The story was too damn good
A deserved award

Best Art Direction: Elden Ring (FromSoftware/Bandai Namco)

Look who’s back again
Elden Ring with award again
The game is pretty tho

Best Score and Music: Bear McCreary (God of War Ragnarök)

The music’s amazing
But the real question still stands
Why is his name “Bear”?

Best Audio Design: God of War Ragnarök (Sony Santa Monica/SIE)

Back but with no Bear
The foley artists worked hard
You love to hear it

Best Performance: Christopher Judge (God of War Ragnarök)

Chris Judge did good work
Miss the Living Single guy
But Kratos was great

Games for Impact: As Dusk Falls (Interior Night/XBox Game Studios)

Northway Games was robbed
As Dusk Falls was okay but felt
like old PC games

Best Ongoing Game: Final Fantasy XIV (Square Enix)

I still can’t play this
But people I know that do
Say it’s fantastic

Best Indie: Stray (BlueTwelve Studio/Annapurna)

Big disappointment
The kitty game that wasn’t
Boring stealth game. Subpar

Best Debut Indie: Stray (BlueTwelve Studio/Annapurna)

What a great debut
From a studio that’s made
About twenty games

Best Community Support: Final Fantasy XIV (Square Enix)

I’ve been locked out
Since the first year the game dropped
But I guess congrats?

Best Mobile: Marvel SNAP (Second Dinner Studios/NuVerse)

This game is so good
Wish they weren’t predatory
But the game’s so fun

Best VR/AR: Moss: Book II (Polyarc)

Glad VR’s still here
The first Moss was a great time
Glad sequel was better

Best Action: Bayonetta 3 (Platinum Games/Nintendo)

Huge disappointment
I wish anything else won
Not COD Tho

Best Action/Adventure: God of War Ragnarök (Sony Santa Monica/SIE)

The people who made this
Their legs must be so tired
Walking back and forth

Best Role Playing: Elden Ring (FromSoftware/Bandai Namco)

Now wait just right there
This game and not Live a Live?
That’s just crazy pants

Best Fighting: Multiversus (Player First Games/WB Games)

For real with all this?
The game is okay I suppose
But not award great

Best Family: Kirby and the Forgotten Land (HAL Laboratory/Nintendo)

Super cute Kirby game
Had terrifying boss tho
Kids still have nightmares

Best Sim/Strategy: Mario + Rabbids Spark of Hope (Ubisoft Milan/Paris/Ubisoft)

Big surprising win
Well won tho because this game,
Is really fun to play

Best Sports/Racing: Gran Turismo 7  (Polyphony Digital/SIE)

Of course this game won
So much work was put in it
No competition

Best Multiplayer: Splatoon 3 (Nintendo EPD/Nintendo)

I enjoy this game
COD must have felt this
Losing to cute squids

Most Anticipated: Legend of Zelda: Tears of the Kingdom (Nintendo EPD/Nintendo)

This category sucks
No good way to measure it
But congrats I guess

Content Creator of the Year: Ludwig

Can’t believe he won
I haven’t heard from this dude
Since Für Elise dropped

Best Adaptation: Arcane: League of Legends (Fortiche/Riot Games/Netflix)

Best Adaptation
for helping people forget
Riot’s staff abuse

Innovation in Accessibility: God of War Ragnarök (Sony Santa Monica/SIE)

What about Dead Cells?
Not even nominated
But more accessible

Best ESports Game: Valorant (Riot Games)

Can we just admit
This is just multiplayer
But backup award?

Best Esports Player: Jacob “Yay” Whiteaker (Cloud9, Valorant)

Back on SNL
They did an Esports skit that,
I thought about here

Best ESports Team: LOUD (Valorant)

ESports urk me tho
They take a fun thing like games
And make it stressful

Best ESports Coach: Matheus “bzkA” Tarasconi (LOUD, Valorant)

I liked this award
It gave me a solid chance
To hit the bathroom

Best ESports Event: 2022 League of Legends Championship

Oh my god just stop
The whole back end of the show
Was just this nonsense