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Let’s speculate wildly about the Nintendo Switch Pro

By Eric Halliday

A gamer plays the video game "The Legend of Zelda : Breath of the Wild" developed and published by Nintendo on a Nintendo Switch games console during the 'Paris Games Week'(Photo by Chesnot/Getty Images)
A gamer plays the video game "The Legend of Zelda : Breath of the Wild" developed and published by Nintendo on a Nintendo Switch games console during the 'Paris Games Week'(Photo by Chesnot/Getty Images) /
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Hi guys! It’s May! And that means three things. One, it’s almost June. Two, it’s definitely no longer April. And three, we can shoot random speculation about the Nintendo Switch Pro into the air again because it’s been a month and the world is a nightmare so why not.

Two of the top trending things right now on Twitter as of this writing are “Super Nintendo Switch” and “Nintendo Switch Pro”. Most of the reason for this are articles that mention that they think one is coming out and they tend to feature extremely liberal usage of the word “could”.

Could there be one coming out? Maybe. Could it be announced at the E3 that got randomly put together recently? Maybe. Is it weird that so many people think that though considering Nintendo was in the news in the past years for wanting to opt out of E3 in favor of hosting their own videos via Nintendo Direct? Definitely. And would it be a colossal mistake for them to release a system when chips are super hard to come by right now and most of the ones that do are already being swooped up by Sony and Microsoft (as well as cell phone manufacturers)? Yup!

But let’s talk about it anyways because it’s been a month.

If it happens, a lot of these sites can say “WE CALLED IT HERE.” If it doesn’t, don’t at them because that article will probably get “archived” so maybe it was never said. But let’s keep blindly speculating the same thing month after month.

Now, about halfway through this is where the writer will realize that he’s only filled up half the length of a traditional article anyways so let’s speculate about the features.

I saw one person on Twitter make a comment that it will have a second screen like the 3DS. That absolutely can’t be true but let’s bring that up just in case.

Someone made a joke on Reddit that Nintendo has teamed up with the team behind Rez to allow every game an upgrade compatible with it’s old “vibrator” attachment so let’s speculate on that one.

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I personally have said just now that it will way 45 pounds and will be soft like a pig. So you heard that here first.

How much space is left. Oh god, okay let’s see. Alright, so now, because I need to make the article longer we need to bring up some other sources talking about the Switch. Lemme just get on Twitter.

Twitter star “Evan Joseph” announced today to his 160+ followers that he was considering buying the “Super Nintendo Switch” just for the name shocking the industry.

Twitter celeb “chase”, whom, according to his bio, once got a room filled with people to chant “Bubsy”, both stated speculation that every game on the “Super Nintendo Switch” will have “Super” in it’s name like the SNES did before almost redacting and admitting how bad that sounded in the same tweet.

So this is a lot to go off meaning that this summer, Nintendo is more than likely to probably announce their upgraded system, maybe. We’ll see you back here if they do… or you’ll never find this article again.

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