Why Sora should never get the Smash Bros. invite

With the next Super Smash Bros. Ultimate fighter being revealed tomorrow, here’s why it shouldn’t be Sora.

Nintendo announced today that they are revealing the next Super Smash Bros. Ultimate Fighters Pass 2 character on October 1. Immediately, as is always the way, people started talking about Sora. Not the GOOD Sora, which, of course, is the horse from Ghosts of Tsushima if you played how I played — but they’re talking about Sora from the Kingdom Hearts franchise.

I’ve talked a lot about who I’d like to see in Smash, but you might notice a lack of this fella.

While some would argue that Sora’s button smashing fight style would make him both simple AND clean (you’re welcome weebs), I believe he just wouldn’t make sense. Here are a couple of reasons why.

https://twitter.com/SSBUNews/status/1311310025642725377

He is a licensing nightmare. Straight up.

Even if you only give him one outfit and just recolor it, his keyblade has Mickey Mouse’s head silhouette on it. That mouse head is the scariest thing to work with on the planet. There have been people sued for just having circles in the wrong place at the wrong time. Disney does not play.

And if you did use his other keyblades, you also have to be very careful because a lot of them are inspired by various other Disney franchises and might have too much on it.

He would be the most obnoxious opponent.

You think people have mastered aerial battles now? Imagine when Sora takes to the skies, legs out inexplicably and just manages to stay up in the sky forever with no explained reason. That’s what Sora does in Kingdom Hearts.

I don’t know if you all remember playing Kingdom Hearts but his fighting style seems to center around him hovering in the air and swinging his keyblade around like a five-year-old pretending a broom is a lightsaber.

His story mode would take forever.

One of the fun things they do when a new character comes out is that they get a unique classic mode that fits their character. Dragon Quest‘s hero got a bunch of swordy folk. Banjo got a bunch of things that mirror his game’s bosses. Min Min got the melee fighters like Little Mac.

To accurately do one that really captures the feeling of Sora’s journey like I went through it, about two-thirds of the way through the game would have to automatically pause itself long enough for you to have two kids and raise them each to the point where they both are capable of walking and going to school on their own. We don’t have that kind of time.

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