5 Things We Can Really Do Without In Kingdom Hearts 3

Guys Named Ansem

How many Ansems are we up to, now? There’s regular Ansem, who’s a good guy. There’s Xehanort, who is sort of Ansem, as he created the evil Ansem from the first game, there’s Xemnas, who is Ansem’s Nobody, and then another Xehanort who is Xemnas and Evil Ansem fused. Then there’s Riku, who was part of Ansem and took on his appearance for a chunk of time, and then there’s Young Xehanort from Dream Drop Distance. And if I got any of that wrong, I’m not sorry, because who the heck can keep track of any of that?!

Will there be even more in Kingdom Hearts 3? Gosh, I hope not. I’d rather just merge all these Ansems into one big, spooky, Super-Ansem and duke it out with them to end the reign of people named Ansem once and for all. For that matter, let’s just cut it out with the copious Nobodies, Heartlesses, and whatever else of each character. Everyone only gets one.

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All that aside, I’m marginally optimistic for Kingdom Hearts 3, but only just. It’s been so long, the series has gone so far off the rails, and we still, still don’t have even a vague release window. “Keep your light burning strong,” as one of the many Ansems would say, and hold out hope that one day this crazy series will reach its conclusion.

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