Pokemon Scarlet and Violet finally scales Pokemon sizes, but it’s a terrible idea

In the original Pokemon games, there were no Pokemon visible in the wild outside of a couple of trainers’ Pokemon that you could interact with if you want your Game Boy’s midi board screaming a screech at you. Because of this, Pokemon like Brock’s Onix or Pokemon like the Taurus, which is just a big ol’ bull, could all make sense.

You might have seen the Pokemon anime and watched Pikachu going up against Brock. He takes out his Onix and suddenly Pikachu is darkened by the massive shadow of a massive boulder snack looking down at him. So when you played the game that’s the sense of scale you imagined in your head.

Over time, as the games evolved, you could see some of the Pokemon in more of a three-dimensional form and things didn’t quite match what the Pokedex said. Little insects like Caterpies seemed almost the exact same size as Pikachu. Pokemon like Wailord, who is roughly the size of my entire yard, were standing equal to an Electrabuzz who is 3’7″.

People have always talked about how they wanted to see a bit more scaling in their Pokemon games and they started to get a lot better with it once the franchise moved over to the Nintendo Switch. I was absolutely taken aback the first time I played the Isle of Armor DLC and found a Wailord chilling in the distance. Bigger than even some of the islands that littered the waterways there. It was large enough that capturing it even slightly altered the skyline.

Players wanted more of it and finally Pokemon Scarlet and Violet delivered and it SUCKS. I’m so sorry this is a thing I ever wanted because I hate it. Please take it back. This is what it’s like fighting a Riolu. Notice the GRASS compared to Riolu.

When you think of scale, you think of how impressive some of the larger Pokemon can look and that’s cool — sure. But these games introduce Pokemon on the opposite side. Olives, seeds, coins, bugs.

While random encounters no longer exist in this game, it’s hard to believe that when I can’t run across a field without my mount stopping with a big ol’ “!” over his head as I step on yet another little metal bug.

And are you trying to evolve your Gimmeghoul? Guess what, you need to find Roaming Gimmeghouls. These creatures are not only slightly larger than a US Quarter but MANY OF THEM ARE HIDING. The first time I found a Roaming Gimmeghoul I was just looking into what I thought was a broken pixel on a fence post. I THOUGHT IT WAS A BROKEN PIXEL.

Here’s Gimmeghoul hanging out by a bridge. I used my camera to zoom in on him so you know what he looks like.

But here he is again without the camera. Given how often textures fail to load in this game, the little dude looks more like a glitch sometimes.

I hate it. There are so many cool-looking new Pokemon and without taking out my camera and zooming in, or opening the Pokedex, I just can’t really see them. And that’s when I’m playing on my TV. In handheld mode? Forget it, those things me as was exist as a theoretical construct.

Seriously, Game Freak. Since you’re listening (you’re not) please give me the option to turn off scaling. I don’t care if that means bugs and big bois are the same sizes. I don’t. I just want to be able to actually see them again.