This has been a particularly bad last few weeks. Since the Uvalde tragedy that took place after several other mass shootings, there have been 24 more mass shootings that have happened as of the time of me writing this. By the time you read this, there will probably be more.
The world is a place filled with doubt, hopelessness, and many other super fun feelings. It’s especially daunting when everyone who isn’t paid by the NRA knows what the real problem is but is stuck with the people who ARE paid by them stopping laws from being put into place to stop this.
This country, at this particular moment, sucks. Sorry, but it does. It can do so much better and it isn’t and it’s a dark time.
And you know what goes really well with all the mass shootings? A brand new Postal game. Yup. Postal. Remember? That edge lord game that originally came on a floppy disc and gained a lot of fame for letting you play as a postal worker that starts killing regular people? One of the most famous levels had you killing people in a parade, something that is a real tragedy that affects people in real life.
And now, with so many dead and thousands grieving, here comes a brand new one titled “Postal: Brain Damaged”. I’m assuming they got rid of numbering the game and went with “Brain Damaged” because they wanted to point out what was ailing the person who decided now is the time for this game.
Now here’s the thing. If you saw the obnoxious trailer, it looks like it has little to do with recent events save for the ultra-violence and the weird stink of male angst. It screams “edgelord” but doesn’t have anything particularly relevant to it.
Well, luckily, someone decided to record themselves playing the unreleased Beta and the game itself looks VERY different. Honestly, the footage is a bit unsettling so careful. I’ll summate it after the video.
So, what do we get from this footage? Well, first, they don’t have an intro yet so we get a monologue from the main character in which he makes a weird Polish joke (don’t check your calendars, I promise it’s still 2022) and then says a bunch of nonsense while swearing so unnaturally it’s like a 12-year-old who just learned to swear working it into everything to feel older.
Then the game happens. We’re not told that it’s a dream or a simulation. We’re not given a story. We’re not given a clear goal. Instead, the demo starts. We’re in a house, and almost immediately we realize it’s not our home. We notice this after the person who’s playing murders both men violently before going up into the attic, breaking down a door, whipping out his in-game penis and urinating over two sobbing women who just saw someone they lived with gunned down in front of them.
And I wasn’t making any of that up if you didn’t watch the video. You urinate all over stuff in this game.
It’s tasteless and it’s such a horrible time for this to come out. But I also get it — a lot of gun owners are absolute cowards that are so afraid to lose their hobby that they’ll do everything to look like they have the upper hand. Hell, this isn’t even the first game like this. Remember Kyle Rittenhouse? They not only made a game where you can play as him and kill people, but the kid actually endorsed it.
So, from a business perspective, I understand this game coming out now. A lot of gun owners are feeling particularly sensitive and repressing an awful lot of stuff right now. This is probably the vent they’ll buy guaranteed, which would explain why the game looks so dated you feel like you could store it on less floppy discs than the first Quake.
But honestly, this game shouldn’t exist. I get that it’s going to release regardless of what anyone says. Hyperstrange is still going to shovel this out. It’s what they do. They create bland knock-offs and people mostly buy it because they’re edgy. Some people will buy it only for that reason and not even because the game is good. Hell, their sword and sorcery knock-off is LITERALLY called Elderborn. They just mashed up Skyrim stuff.
I know, right now, that this article itself will sell the title. Some guy on Twitter will probably buy the game specifically to send me a screenshot so he can feel like he “owned a lib”. But listen, if you’re going to support this because you’re a right-winger, hear me out because there is something you’d be interested in too. You hate regulation right? Like, that campfire story about someone taking your guns away scares you right?
Well, right now, the Republican side of Congress is so desperate for things to blame this violence on that they’re looking to peg this on video games. And if they’re looking for evidence, a new release featuring you killing innocent people with hyper over the top blood is going to be the perfect scapegoat. So it’s in your interest not to support this game too.
And Hyperstrange, I’m going to make a request. It’ll be easy as right now you’re pretty damn low. Be better. You can do so much better than this. From every possible standpoint, you want to take that comment. Do better than this or just don’t.