Antagonist teams in the Pokemon series ranked by fit checks

Every Pokemon has an antagonist team. It’s a fact of life. As sure as all the moms in the game are so desperate to get you out of their house that they actually give you running shoes. As sure as Professor Oak will always ask for your pronouns. As sure as your protagonist will never ever speak, regardless of how much better it would make the story. There is always an antagonist team in the mainline games.

I know sometimes they’re considered “villains” but some of these teams don’t really hit me as villains. Sure, some of the teams like Magma and Plasma wanted to do things like completely destroy the landscape or reality itself. But there are also groups like Team Skull who were just a bunch of outcasts that formed a community with each other and just lacked positive leadership. Or Team Yell who were just misguided fans who literally apologize after realizing their overzealousness was problematic.

Then you have outright stupid groups like Team Rocket who rarely seem to have a clear goal. And despite stealing thousands of Pokemon of all kinds, their leader will come at you with a Persian and then give up if you beat him… which has to cost him millions, if not billions, in capital loss.

But in this article, we’re not ranking them on ability, planning, story, any of that. Much like my article about how amazing the costumes were in Pokemon Conquest, we’re going to do a full-on fit check on the standard grunt uniforms. But unlike the Conquest article, I’m ranking these teams from worst to best. Please keep in mind that this is my opinion, not the opinions of App Trigger, and more than likely not yours. So just remember that opinions are subjective. And my opinions are right.

8. Team Yell

Just because Team Yell aren’t technically villains doesn’t mean they’re right and nothing ain’t right with this team more than their look. There are several reasons I can’t forgive this look.

First off, it looks violently uncomfortable. While fashion sometmies overrides function, this looks painful. Like, the guy with the mohawk probably goes through a ton of skin cream just to deal with the friction issues this fit causes.

I’m even less forgiving with this team because they seemingly worship Marnie who, I’m sorry, has an amazing look going. A look they chose to emulate NOTHING from.

7. Team Galactic

Team Galactic was just an all-around bad team. Their main goal to rewrite reality made absolutely no sense. Their generals did not communicate and often found out about their own team’s actions at the same time you did. Towards the end of the game, you find out a vast majority of the grunts and scientists that work for them didn’t even know what their own team was actually trying to do. They were a mess.

And if you didn’t know any of that, you could just look at their grunts to see how much of a mess this team truly was. They look like backup dancers for Peter Dinklage’s SNL “Space Pants” character. These dorks walk around in metal tights with bad sci-fi wigs the likes of which haven’t been seen since the original Blade Runner.