Nothing could prepare me for Happy Home Paradise’s toilet creep

Animal Crossing: New Horizons’ Happy Home Paradise has barely been out more than 24 hours and already I love it. I’ve actually had to pace myself because I remember completing all of the content in the original Happy Home Academy within what felt like moments because I just unlocked everything as fast as possible.

The new one gives you a lot more options. In addition to being able to design furniture layouts and decorating, you can now adjust the size of rooms and add things like room partitions giving you even more options. There’s also a wider variety of requests people can make. Anything from cute play rooms to quiet reading dens. What I was NOT prepared for was Lionel, the toilet creep.

See, when you’re looking for a new client, you walk about the beach on the Happy Home Paradise island where villagers not from your Animal Crossing: New Horizons town are hanging out. And when you’re in work mode you can “feel” their thoughts giving you an idea of what kind of home they’d like. And, as I ran around the beach late last night I witnessed this pop up over the head of regal Animal Crossing lion, “Lionel.”

I thought to myself, maybe he just wants a place with a second little homey bathroom. Maybe he just wants a place to have a little gathering where if one bathroom is full, there’s another that can be used. Maybe that’s what it is, I begged to myself.

It wasn’t. He told us about what he envisioned and I saw that in his required list of vacation home accoutrements (ooo, that’s a good rhyme) was a standard public restroom wall urinal. Wonderful.

So, I went into the project and found that the newly added furniture items were everything from bathroom stalls, to golden toilets, to porta potties, to a variety of handwashing items. I ended up making a massive luxurious bathroom with a total of eleven toilets of different types because that’s what I, as an adult who played Animal Crossing: New Horizon got up to that night.

I mean, look at his face. There’s a part during his tour where he stops in the middle of all the toilets and just takes in a huge breath and sighs with joy at the air his body pulled in. What in the hell, Lionel (oooh, another solid rhyme, this article is a banger).

Luckily, when all was said and done and I had to take a picture for the Happy Home portfolio app on my Nookphone, I managed to capture a picture of the room as he sat, partially obscured, upon a golden toilet, exhibiting pure joy.

Luckily, I built his home on the most secluded island I could find to build a home on. A tiny little thing with a single dock. So I left him there hoping that wayward sailors will hopefully never accidentally arrive here.

Unless they missed that last rest stop.