6 super important questions about Super Mario Sunshine

With the release of Super Mario 3D All-Stars on Switch, it’s time to reexamine one of the more polarizing titles in the plumber’s prestigious catalog: Super Mario Sunshine

Everybody wants to have a “hot take”, even if — despite the sensationalized vigor with which it might be presented — it’s not even the slightest bit of spicy. Often times, hot takes file into the equally lazy and uninspired lanes of “this thing everyone likes is actually terrible!” or “this thing that’s terrible is actually great and you’re an idiot for thinking otherwise!” They can be found all over the place; there is no escaping them. This is basically my long-winded way of saying that hot take culture can be evil, and this time it has aimed its sights at 2002’s Super Mario Sunshine.

It’s a game I enjoy, so seeing all these simpletons debate whether or not the game is “actually bad” bores me. Instead, upon revisiting the title thanks to Super Mario 3D All-Stars, I have a few observations I’d like to share. They’re a series of important questions that need to be answered. While I don’t necessarily have an answer to all of them, I do believe it is my journalistic responsibility to ask them. Brace yourself, this journey is not for the faint of heart.

Did the game steal its storyline from Sonic Adventure 2?

It’s no secret that the blue blur and our mustachioed hero have beef. We’re all familiar with the Sega and Nintendo Console Wars. So I must ask: Is it not suspicious that Super Mario Sunshine shares a similar plot device to Sonic Adventure 2?

Both games’ story is focused on the two main characters having an evil doppelganger commit crimes (Shadow and Bowser Jr. disguised as Shadow Mario, respectively) that our heroes are wrongly blamed for.

There is something cruel about framing others for your own wrongdoings, but even more cruel is plagiarism (especially in college, where it’s nearly treated as a war crime). I’m onto you, Nintendo; my third eye has been opened.