30th Anniversary: The 5 worst characters in Sonic history

Jani-Ca (or sometimes Lara-Su because I don’t know)

So, have you ever wondered what would happen if Dragonball’s Future Trunks was a female echidna? Me neither but we’re still getting our answer together.

See, a long time ago, Knuckles and slightly robotic echidna “Julie-Su” hooked up and Julie-Su found herself pregnant. Then, as things go with all families, Knuckles becomes possessed by an ancient evil and grows abusive hurting the pregnant Julie to flee into the desert and vanish. Time goes on and Knuckles is shot to death by a character named Remington. Julie gives birth to Jani-Ca and chaos instills. Just like my family.

Oh, and then Jani-Ca grows up in a terrible future and decides to go back in time to stop her dad from being shot because, as all comics will tell us, the only time we can truly invent time travel is when we get to a point where we don’t have access to technology or healthy living conditions.

Also, she saves her dad by stabbing him with her sword. He got better.

Oh, and about Jani-Ca’s mom? She has a “cybernetic dreadlock” and that seriously almost put her on the list instead.

So now Jani-Ca is here wearing Future Trunks cosplay complete with dummy thicc sword on her back and she’s just…always angry. The only thing worse than a fictional dork is a fictional dork that is just a blatant ripoff of a different fictional dork.