Things Not To Do With Your New Nintendo Switch Console

We’ve seen plenty of advertising showing what you can do with a Nintendo Switch. Here are some things you should definitely not do with it.

If you’re eagerly awaiting the Nintendo Switch, you’ve probably already thought of all the great things you’re going to do with the system. Maybe you’re excited to play The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild on a comfy couch in front of a big TV, or maybe you’re more excited about taking it on the subway or to a friend’s party in its portable form.

We’re excited about all of that too here at App Trigger, but we’re a bit concerned. There’s been so much fuss over what you should do with the Nintendo Switch, no one’s mentioned all the things you should definitely not do with Nintendo’s newest console. So we’ve compiled a handy list of things you should never do with a Nintendo Switch:

nintendo switch

Photo Credit: Rebekah Valentine

Bake it into a delicious cake

As tempting as it may be to make a tasty cake ala Princess Peach using your Switch as the main ingredient, we highly recommend keeping your console out of the oven.

nintendo switch

Photo Credit: Rebekah Valentine

Take the Switch for a walk

Do we recommend playing your Switch on the go, anywhere? Absolutely! Do we recommend attaching a leash to it and trying to persuade it to follow you down the street? Not especially.

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Photo Credit: Rebekah Valentine

Teach the Nintendo Switch the benefits of good oral hygiene

Brushing your teeth is a vital part of the daily routine for most people. The Switch is not most people. It’s a gaming device and does not have teeth. Do not be offended if it does not brush twice daily.

nintendo switch

Photo Credit: Rebekah Valentine

Teach your Switch to ride a bike

If you’re going on a bike ride, pack the Switch in your bag and play it at your destination. If you ask your Switch to bike alongside you down a beautiful mountain trail, you may run into difficulties.

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Photo Credit: Rebekah Valentine

Knit your Switch into a warm, woolly scarf

No matter how much Poochy begs you, do not knit your Switch into a scarf. Knit a regular scarf, and wear it while playing the Nintendo Switch.

nintendo switch

Photo Credit: Rebekah Valentine

Allow your cat to play the Nintendo Switch

It’s not that we’re worried the cat would harm the Nintendo Switch. Cats are just very bad at video games and have a tendency to sit on the screen instead of properly manipulating the controls.

nintendo switch

Photo Credit: Rebekah Valentine

Let your Nintendo Switch play Pokemon GO

It’s probably not too much multitasking to take your Nintendo Switch and your phone out and play Breath of the Wild and Pokemon GO simultaneously, but don’t let your Nintendo Switch try to play Pokemon GO. It’s probably better at it than you.

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Photo Credit: Rebekah Valentine

Treat your Nintendo Switch to a romantic, candlelit dinner

I know, I know, you love your Switch. But you might be moving a little too fast for it. Consider hanging out in more casual settings first before you turn up the dial on romance with your gaming device. It would really rather just be friends.

nintendo switch

Photo Credit: Rebekah Valentine

Tuck your Nintendo Switch in at night

Your Switch would much prefer to sit in its dock and charge than be tucked into a comfy bed at the end of the day. Yeah, we don’t know what its problem is either.

If you would rather play a Nintendo Switch than do any of the above things with it, we’re whole-heartedly with you, and the time has almost arrived. The Nintendo Switch launches on March 3rd, and we’ll have plenty more preview and review coverage right here at App Trigger, so keep checking back!

A Nintendo Switch system was provided to App Trigger for the purposes of this preview. Click here to learn more about our Review Policy.