So Metal Gear Solid V Finally Receives A Porn Parody

After watching this Metal Gear Solid porn parody, you will be ashamed of your words and deeds. Or not. I mean, it’s just porn.

The following is a relatively safe-for-work trailer for a Metal Gear Solid V: The Phantom Pain porn parody. If sexually explicit words are too much for your workplace, here’s a bunch of video game dogs

It’s 2017, and Brazzers is showing more respect for Metal Gear Solid V than Konami is.

It’s a brave new world that we’ve entered, and a porn production company is here to lead the way with Metal Rear Solid: The Phantom Peen, a parody based on Hideo Kojima’s swan song at Konami, Metal Gear Solid V: The Phantom Pain.

Why Brazzers is releasing a full video on Wednesday, February 8, 2017, instead of, you know, anytime close to the release of the original game, is anybody’s guess, but it captures the heart of Metal Gear Solid V very well.

“After crash landing at an undisclosed location in the desert, Boss (Charles Dera) must retrieve a package at a Diamond Dongs drop zone,” Brazzers describes. “However, Boss is not alone in the desert, and finds himself trapped with a sniper. Fighting to defend her outpost, Boss must battle Hushy (Casey Calvert) to capture or destroy the other in a death match that may only see one victor return to Mother Base.”

Some nods to the series include codec conversations (even if Boss uses a walkie-talkie), a Quiet cosplayer named “Hushy,” Boss running around the battlefield using a cardboard box, use of the in-game map system edited to look like it’s the actual game, marking targets using Boss’s optical eye, references to your organization (Diamond Dongs), and a direct reference to Metal Gear Solid 3: Snake Eater.

The porn parody looks to reflect the motifs of the Metal Gear Solid game series, especially under the eye of game director Hideo Kojima. Previously, he’s defended the use of sexually suggestive female characters like Quiet before, even claiming that “you’ll be ashamed of your words and deeds” once you find out why she’s scantily clad in Metal Gear Solid V. He’s even claiming he’ll give his attractive women a real story in the upcoming Death Stranding.

Hopefully, once the action picks up in the full video they won’t keep you waiting, huh?